After two long years (or maybe a bit more) of hesitation & contemplation, I decided to finally sign up for Usada Tapa Brata I meditation program by Bali Usada.

Why 2 long years? Because I knew I would need to let go of my phone, refrain myself from talking and the likes— so I definitely had to mentally prepare myself before committing to this program 😀

Also, a side story, I actually wanted to get myself a Taylor Swift Eras Tour ticket (been a Swiftie since high school). But then I browsed Bali Usada’s Instagram, and I noticed that there’s a Tapa Brata program available which finishes up on the same day as my birthday.

I took this as a sign— maybe it’s the universe way of telling me to finally register hahaha. But in all seriousness, I knew I could only choose one between Eras Tour vs. a week full of meditation (because both were 💸💸💸).

I finally knew what the best answer was for me.

So anyway! Here’s a (pretty long) blurb of my indescribable meditation week.

Why I Decided to Join

Some of you may already know that I often ponder about life and have quite a bit of interest in spirituality.

Despite having read several books on meditation and spirituality, I had ✨little to no idea✨ on how to actually meditate. I knew the general idea and purpose of meditation, but to actually meditate— I did not have the complete understanding of it yet.

That’s why I decided to join. To learn how to meditate.

The Journey

On the first day, we were still allowed to talk to other participants. We shared the reasons as to why we wanted to join. Some suffer from insomnia, some from autoimmune, and few others, from certain physical conditions despite having great medical results.

I just knew then that this meditation program is actually more catered to health meditation. It is a universal approach, not related to any religions and there’s not too much of a mention regarding spirituality (however, as it’s still meditation where our minds become more focused & at peace, I inevitably did gain some spirituality insights too, which of course, is a good thing).

And there I was, coming in with no underlying issues, just wanting to learn how to meditate🧍‍♀️

(Don’t worry. If you don’t have any medical issues, you’re still more than welcome to join! Plus, learning meditation beforehand is a great way to stay ahead and prevent any issues in the future).

But anyway! I’m gonna start sharing the journey, which I divide into 2 parts:

Part One

Part One will cover the first 3 days; Part Two will cover the remaining.

We officially began the Tapa (bertapa, which is the Indonesian word for the act of isolating oneself and practicing abstinence) on the first night we arrived at the hotel.

From then on, participants would try their best to refrain from:
🚫 talking and communicating in any forms
🚫 writing
🚫 reading
🚫 daydreaming

Soon after, we went into our rooms in complete silence.

At 4:30am, bells started chiming to wake us up. Was it hard to wake up early in the morning? Absolutely.

We started the first round of meditation at 5:00am. People say their minds are the sharpest in the morning, but that probably doesn’t apply to everyone (i.e. me).

Our activities were mainly, yes, meditations. A typical day is filled with meditation, meals (fruit breakfast, breakfast, lunch, & evening snack), light exercises, lecture, afternoon nap, and m o r e meditations. I’m not joking. The amount of meditation finally got on my nerves on the third day 🥹

Okii, so what did I do? On the first 3 days, we mostly learnt about Meditation 101.

We started the activities on the second day, where we kicked off the learning with the very basic of meditation. How to sit, how to place our hands, how to breathe. We were instructed to pay attention to our breaths. To let the body inhale & exhale on its own. To be aware of when the body breathe in & breathe out.

On the third day, we were asked to pay more attention to each inhalation and exhalation. Notice and feel how each inhale & exhale is different— maybe you felt the cool air and how soft it felt as you inhale, and then it felt warmer and rougher as you exhale?

We were then introduced to the concept of anicca— impermanence. Things change, nothing is permanent or eternal— including the breaths that we’d been practicing. There’s difference in each inhalation and exhalation. It’s changing. It’s impermanent. In another word, anicca.

We were asked to keep observing the changes in our breaths and noticing it as anicca. As we kept on going, the mind became lighter, softer, and more focused— it’s becoming a harmonious mind.

Part Two

What is a harmonious mind? It is focused, aware, wise, and soft.

Not sure if mine is in harmony already, but my mind feels extremely focused, light, and peaceful when I’m observing my breaths and noticing it as anicca.

On the fourth day, we were guided to observe our body. Starting from the head, neck, each shoulder & arm, chest, stomach, sex organ, each upper and lower leg, and then going back up from the buttocks, spine, and the back of the neck.

We began to observe any sensation— is it cold? is it hot? is it hurting? Oh, it’s changing, it’s anicca, and then we moved our attention to the next part of the body.

On the fifth day, or what they call as the healing day, we began to heal the body. We became aware of where we felt pain at the body yesterday, so on this fifth day, we’re gonna work on it. We’re gonna heal them.

We were guided to use our harmonious mind to heal the body. We were instructed to notice the pain and to observe it. It is anicca.

Once we felt that the mind was in harmony, we were asked to drive our attention to the pain.

By doing that, we’re giving good energy which in turns, heal the pain. That is one way to heal the body.

There’s another way to heal by using chakra but it’s going to be too long of a read, so I’ll just stick to that one above. Plus, I don’t want to spill too many content of the program so that you can get the full experience too 🤍

On the sixth day, our day was not as busy as the previous day. We’re finishing up the healing session and we’re getting ready to conclude our noble silence.

We’re able to talk to other participants in the afternoon and receive our belongings back in the evening.

We still had our meditation sessions after that, and boy did I feel a distinct meditation experience once my phone was returned 🫢 My mind was running around. It was absolutely more difficult to focus during meditation.

It made me really appreciate the noble silence days, which had allowed my senses (eyes, mouth, and mind) to rest, be more mindful, and at present.

We then listened to a light but interesting recorded lecture from Pak Merta Ada, the man behind Bali Usada. He shared his stories, his journey, and how he first became aware of his healing ability.

Through My Lens

I came without any expectations. I did not expect to experience a ✨magical✨ transformation or anything like that. I did not even think about meeting Pak Merta Ada. I was surprised that he actually came in and led some meditations for us in person.

However, I made a commitment with myself that I would give my all in the program. I tried my best not to talk, read, write, and daydream.

➡️ And here’s how my experience went:

Like I mentioned above, I came with no specific medical condition that I wanted to heal. I do have trouble sleeping occasionally, but not too severe that I need to depend on medicine.

During one lecture session before meditation, Pak Merta Ada guided us to observe each body part and stay for a while if it hurt. For those with insomnia, Pak Merta Ada briefly mentioned to stay on the heart region and find the “mental body”, which would feel soft like cotton or silk.

Following the instruction, I started with observing my head, throat, arms, and stopped at the heart. I sensed a light pain on my heart. And then I dove deeper to search for my “mental body”. I most definitely did not have a clue on how to find my “mental body”, all I knew was I needed to find something soft.

It felt like I was rummaging through my chest in the hope to find my ☁️mental body☁️ HAHA 🥹😵

And then I felt something kinda soft like fibrous fibery cotton….?— to this day, I’m not sure if it was in fact my “mental body”. However, I stayed there and kept observing the pain.

What struck me the most was, as I put my attention to the light pain on my chest and saying anicca, a pop-up image of someone appeared out of a sudden on my mind.

I had some things going on before with them, which I thought we had all moved past it. However, it hasn’t apparently been resolved on my subconscious self.

Once the meditation session ended, I still could not believe what just happened. I took a stroll to the hotel terrace for some fresh air and sat for a while. And then I cried. And then I felt very light and at peace.

I don’t think I can find the right word for it still. I felt soooo at peace and there’s no residual emotion or any lingering thoughts left. My heart felt very light.

I felt liberated.

Other Things You Might Want to Know

🏠 Location and Food

Bali Usada has a number of meditation centers in Bali. My session, however, was held at Rumah Luwih hotel in Gianyar. This location was perfect and quiet. Food was 10/10.

We eat vegetarian food throughout the program. Animal-derived food such as egg, milk, honey, yogurt are also allowed.

I’m not a vegetarian and was a bit worried if I couldn’t eat much. However, the menu came in lots of variation and was nutritionally balanced.

We had fruits every morning (also served during lunch & afternoon snack), and they were always fresh! I could not complain 🥰

🛏️ Room

There are 2 room options for Tapa Brata I at Rumah Luwih— one room for yourself or you can share one with a roommate.

I had a roommate. Yes, we did not talk to each other. Okay maybe 2-3 times when she attempted to wake me up (she’s very lovely 🥹💖).

We had a little talk about sleeping and bathroom situation before going on silence. We went over who’s gonna use the shower first, the room temperature, etc., but when we began the program, we didn’t really stick with that haha. We just played a guessing game “Ah, she’s not at breakfast, maybe she’s in the room”, and the other one would stay at the breakfast hall.

What I’m trying to say is that sharing a room is definitely not a huge issue, especially if you both have full commitment to the program.

💰 Cost/Investment
Twin Room at Rumah Luwih: IDR 12.000.000
At their centers, prices start from IDR 5.000.000

If you feel like you really need to join this program, but you feel like the price doesn’t want you— I highly recommend sending a WhatsApp chat to their admin, explain your situation, they might be able to arrange something for you 🤞

You can find the number from their Instagram here.

🤔 After the program has ended….then what?

You’ll be invited into a WhatsApp group for your specific session once you register.

On the last day of the program, everyone is asked to continue their meditation effort consistently for 90 days. This will be counted, recorded, and announced in the WhatsApp group daily.

This is done in order to build a good habit of meditation, a healthy character, to be at peace, and to be happy. I think this is a beautiful initiative to encourage everyone to build a good habit even after the program has ended.

Final Thoughts

This blurb definitely doesn’t do justice to what the full experience was. I learnt so many new things, listened to a bunch of fascinating stories, and gained deeper insights on life.

I came with no expectations but left with a full heart.

I came with an empty cup of meditation how-to and left with an overflowing cup.

Restating what I said at the beginning of this story, a week with Bali Usada was indescribable— in the most healing and positively transformative way possible.

Thank you, Bali Usada 🙏

May all beings be happy 🤍

p.s. see also my tiktok video about the experience here (in Bahasa Indonesia).

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