overthinking was my hobby. i spent a big chunk of my time creating scenarios and what-ifs in my head. i did not like my condition back then and thus kept comparing my then-present-moment to the what-if scenarios in my head. it got so chaotic that i was probably living a life of anxiety and worry. i was living as my future-self, not being in the present moment.

i was at my lowest. i could suddenly cry when i was just sitting down doing nothing. people would ask me to see the good in life, saying that i was not appreciating this life enough; i would just fake a smile and nod along.

deep down though, i felt even worse– creating thoughts like “i’m sorry i’m not appreciating life enough..”, “i know i shouldn’t feel this way..but how?”, “do i need to be happy and fully charged all the time?”, “i’m probably too dramatic”. these thoughts distracted me even more and made me feel guilty.

on this post, i’m not going to share how i found peace by seeing the good in the everyday. sure, that definitely works for some people, but it was probably not the best strategy for me. because i needed to feel truly grateful and not being forced to feel it. i needed a reason.

so these were the things that led me closer and finally be at peace:

1. being present

it’s okay to not start feeling grateful of everything right away if you’re not ready. you can begin by noticing things inside of you: your thoughts, breathing, feeling, and sensation in your body. then gradually start noticing the things outside of you: the warmth of the sun, breezy wind, sounds of cars driving by, people walking, or maybe the sound from a ticking clock.

then pull yourself back a little. take notice of these things, good or bad, simply be aware of them. you are observing yourself and things around you. you are the observer. and then place your focus back to your breathing. slowly and deeply feel the air as you inhale and exhale.

i practice this once in a while and it helps bring me back to the center every single time.

2. self-reflect, write, journal

our minds may have that tendency to amplify worries, spinning thoughts, and negative emotions. most times, it could get too much and overwhelming, and the end result is often us feeling more emotional than before.

i find that writing these thoughts down help me tremendously to view my thoughts objectively. after writing them down, i often felt “oh, it’s actually not as bad as i thought”.

grab a pen and a piece of paper/book/journal. or create a private tumblr account (i did this 😉), or maybe open your Notes app or Word doc. pour your thoughts and feelings into writing, don’t hold them back. it’s okay, it’s just between you and yourself.

years later when you’re doing much better, hopefully reading these notes from your past-self would also bring you happiness knowing that you’ve overcome your fears and worries.

3. letting go of the things i can’t control

if you have no control over the thing that bugs you, let it go. for instance, worrying whether someone would like you/your looks/your stuffs. people will always have opinions no matter what and we don’t have the power to control that. and since where we place our attention is where we place our energy (from my #currentlyreading book Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza), is it really worthwhile exhausting our precious energy to worry about that?

how about worrying about the future? i need to plan what my future looks like.

planning about the future does not equal to keep worrying about the future. because all that you have control over is the present moment. the things that you do right now are capable to affect your future. so be here, embrace, and seize the generous present moment.

4. setting boundaries

it’s okay to say no. it’s okay to not attend a party. it’s okay to prioritize yourself. it’s okay to have smaller circle of friends who share the same values and push each other towards growth. it’s okay to miss out.

there is no “fear of missing out” if you’re staying at the present moment. because each moment is precious and all you need to do is to be here fully.

5. practicing kindness & gratitude

everyone is facing a different battle and perceive the struggles differently. what may seem okay to one person, may not be the same case to the other. because everyone is unique.

there’s a spectrum of values, traditions, upbringing, experiences, and many other things that shape us who we are today. so be kind, be understanding, be open. practice empathy and be willing to look at things from multiple perspectives. let’s radiate kindness to those around us and surround ourselves with positive energy.

when we spread positivity, life gets lighter and easier. being grateful is suddenly easy because we are filled with warmth and peace. and suddenly life gets brighter and meaningful.

—

as i share these with you, remember that finding peace is a unique journey. whether it’s by being present, doing self-reflection, or through letting go, may these little tips be stepping stones on your path to inner peace.

what works for me may not work for you and vice versa. and that’s okay. listen, be patient, and be kind to yourself. don’t rush the process.

remember, it’s okay not to be okay, but it’s also okay to find ways to make it better. you’ve got this.

x

💌🌻✨🌿

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